Monday, September 24, 2007

A new trend

"Well we have 40 minutes before the movie starts. Let's walk around and kill some time" I said to my buddy Mike. Mike came down to Raleigh as my first official visitor. As a yankee, he was finding the differences between the north (he's from Minneapolis) and the south quite vast. He was having a hard time connecting with the culture - much like me - and what seemed to be acceptable and unacceptable here. Politically, the area differed much from Mike's views, and as a proud gay chap, he wasn't really feeling the comforting hug of approval for his way of life.

We wandered around North Hills, a lifestyle shopping center that resembles a little town with shops and restaurants in a Disney-like setting, with luxury apartments above the shops. Finally, it was determined that it was just too darn hot to be marchin' up and down the square, so we started back to the cineplex. On the way, we passed by the REI store. I was yapping away in my usual manner, and Mike pretended to listen like he always does. Suddenly I realized that I was walking by myself for about 25 feet. I turned around and saw Mike looking in the REI window at the display. He turned to me with a smile and said "Finally, something I can agree with here".

What did he see? A window display with two male mannequins with the tag line "Out is in". You know what? Mike's perception of that display sounds good to me. Nobody should have to hide who they really are.

What did I see? My perception of the display was "go outside more" which I just can't get behind unfortunately. You can get dirty, there are ticks, you could twist your ankle walking on uneven ground, what if you have to pee, you could get a sunburn, could get bitten by a snake.... I will be inside thank you very much.

Maybe REI meant gays should come out of the closet and go camping? Only they know for sure.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Urban camouflage

This one's been tickling in the back of my brain....there may be a diabolical agent among us here in North Cackalack. Each day I drive by a giant pine tree - or is it? My mind has considered the possibilities:

1) A cell phone tower feeling anxious and ostracized because it stands out as metallic and cold while surrounded by hearty, lush trees, to which it has transformed itself like a chameleon to fit in with it's surroundings.

2) A CIA spy tower - hidden in the midst of suburban Raleigh, listening in on all of the daily drama facing the yuppies of the 21st century.

3) An alien robot/machine hidden here waiting for it's orders from it's home planet to take over Earth like in War of the Worlds.

In reality, its probably just that all of the status seeking up and comers in this development of North Raleigh does not want to look at a cell phone tower everyday, so they demanded a faux finish on this bad boy, so every day is like Christmas at Kmart.

I hope they at least put flashing Christmas tree lights on it for the holidays for maximum tackiness.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

I must be growing up

It's official.
I am too old to watch MTV's "The Real World" anymore.

That's okay, I have now filled that position with the newest pinnacle of trash, VH1's "Bret Michael's Rock of Love". Truly what fine entertainment should be.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Snack Time in the South

It's 3:30. My mind is having a hard time focusing on writing copy for a project at work. My stomach is grumbling - that Campbells "soup at hand" just isn't sticking to the ribs like I thought it would. I need a snack. I'm going to grab some change and go to the lunch room where the vending machines are to get a little something to get me going.

As I push the buttons of the vending machine, browsing for options, it hits me again that I live in the south. How does it hit me? By coming across Instant Grits as a food option in the office vending machine. I guess I have the choice between the grits, or vienna sausages in a can, or good 'ol pork rinds..

yum. not.