Saturday, May 31, 2008

I made it...just under the wire

It was just 30 days ago when I challenged myself to post on my blog every day in May. I did it amazingly enough. Some days (as I'm sure you could tell) it was a struggle to come up with content. Now the question is - can I sustain it?

We shall see....we shall see

Friday, May 30, 2008

I think I have bad karma


Today has been a roller coaster, running the gamut of great to horrible. Unfortunately, it ended on horrible rather than great. I'm going to bed, so this day will be over and hoping that tomorrow is an improvement.


Anyone have any good ideas on how to make myself more good karmalicious?

I need help people.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Here's a fact you may not know

Did you know that there are only 3 cemeteries in San Francisco? 2 for people, and one for pets. This is the final resting place for some awesome hamsters, a real cute kitty and a variety of other loveable creatures. I'm not quite sure what sort of creature named Missy is buried there - but I'm sure that it was an awesome pet. How could it not be with a name like that?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Wouldn't it be nice?

Wouldn't it be nice to always have a super fan in your corner? A person that told you that you were AWESOME! whenever you needed it? I could have used one today. I came across this Super Fan in Minneapolis. Might have to call him and see if he does Super Fan calls out of state and schedule a visit.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Does every moment have to be memorable?

I had a not so memorable Memorial day
- hiding out
- undercover
- laying low
- sitting tight
- holed up

and it was quite nice.

What did you do?

Sunday, May 25, 2008


Went to see the new Indiana Jones movie with my pal Brad.

My review of the movie blows. Of course, if you are the type of person that needs closure in all things, go see it, but only at matinee pricing.

The best thing about the movie was Cate Blanchett's hairdo - which is my dream hair. Unfortunately, I don't look like Ms. Blanchett, so I will have to continue to rock my own personal hair-don't.

Check out everyone's teeth in the final scene too - it's like a giant Chiclet factory - veneers, veneers, veneers. Doesn't anyone have real teeth anymore?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Did you know....

I'm learning something new every day.

I would like to learn about more things that DO NOT involve mucus though.

Friday, May 23, 2008

If you feel a nibble on your toe...

Just a reminder for those of you that love the ocean and may be going to a beach this weekend.

Those that have known me for years know that I have a huge fear of sharks - that includes Saturday Night Live's Landshark. I get chills anytime I see that skit.

I'm lame - but I would be a delectable morsel for any Carcharodon carcharias (a great white shark)

Thursday, May 22, 2008

It was a rage cage....

Yesterday was our company's fun day. It was an afternoon picnic where we were able to compete against each other in departmental teams in various events. One event was inflatable boxing - where 2 people got in an inflatable ring with giant inflatable boxing gloves and were giving permission to pound the bejesus out of each other.

It was interesting to see some of the match ups. My friend Kelly got a barrage of hits by a woman using a windmill technique - her arms flailing in a circle in a constant attack. Two VPs boxed each other, each I think taking out some inner office rage out on each other. It ended up as good clean fun, but there was certainly electricity in the air when the two climbed in the ring together.

Our team may have come in dead last overall for the day, but we had the best uniforms and we looked F-I-N-E!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

21 Accents

Everyday at work my co-workers and I butcher the english language with our imitations of the English people that we work so closely alongside of. Pretty much every day has conversation had has some sort of Olde English lilt to it - and occasionally we break into cockney. That is a sorry sound and sight let me tell you.

This chick has got her accents down pretty well, I find her quite inspiring. Can you tell where she is really from?

Oy, play the bloomin' clip!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Lost in Translation

I saw this sign when I was at Ike's in Minneapolis (possibly one of the greatest places for brunch ever).

It hit home, because as the person that writes the in-store communications at my company, I often have to translate the UK English version to the American English version because even though we speak the same language, things often are very different.

For example "fanny pack". Saying that sets English people into fits of red-faced laughter.

Next time I see you, I'll explain it to you.

Monday, May 19, 2008

What I feel like today

I'm feeling a little like a jellyfish
- floating through life, riding the current rather than swimming against it
- spineless
- jelly like

I think I'm just tired. Perhaps a nap on the plane will make it better.

Just call me Debbie Downer right?

Sunday, May 18, 2008

A new word?

1. an exciting or very unusual experience had by those with dentures
2. participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises involving denture-wearers: the spirit of adenture
3. a bold, unusually risking undertaking by denture-wearers; hazardous action of uncertain outcome involving their faux teeth.

As the baby boomers age, and their dental hygiene becomes compromised, industries will have to appeal to their physical foibles to get them to purchase. For example, the travel industry will most likely re-name travel adventures to adentures, creating tourism experiences where the traveler will have access to soft foods, unlimited quantities of Polygrip & Polydent, no matter what their location - on safari in Kenya, in the mountains of New Zealand, or on the streets of San Francisco.

San Francisco, always on the cutting edge, has already started creating tourist knicknacks in anticipation for the aging crowds of the future. Today's featured curio can be found at the Golden Gate Bridge gift shop, on the southern end of the bridge.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Now you see it, now you don't

Today I went down by Ghiradelli Square with some pals to play some bocce ball. It has been the first day since I have been in SF that the weather is 'typical' in it's special way - meaning, gorgeous blue skies, 65 degrees and breezy. Our bocce ball courts overlooked Alcatraz. The bay was full of activity with sailboats cruising around everywhere. It looked like this:

Within 15 minutes of this picture being taken, a blanket of fog began to roll over all in its way in the bay. It was totally cool. It looked like this:

It had a very ominous Jamie Lee Curtis slasher movie feeling to it. I was digging it. However, my hair was not. I used a flat iron today to rock a straight hair look, however the fog overruled and assigned me a TWA (a Teeny Weeny Afro). No worries, bad hair is worth it to be back here.

Friday, May 16, 2008

I'm just getting my toes done, I'm just getting my toes done

Location: San Francisco
Activity: Getting a pedicure
Situation: have to get naked for it

I am in San Francisco on wee vacation. While here, I decided to pop into a spa located in a downtown shopping mecca for a pedicure, rather than creating another stop in my busy day and going to the regular place near my apartment.

The spa is a sanctuary in the center of the city, luxurious, with the finest decor. As I signed in for my appointment, I was given a tour by the receptionist to prepare me for my appointment to get my toes painted. As she escorted me through the spa, she showed me the waiting area where patrons could wait for their services. It was a large room with enormous velvet sofas and dim lighting, with a wind chime-ish soundtrack playing in the background. About 20 people, men and women, all of them sitting in fluffy white terry robes, sat sipping water infused with cucumber and lemon and reading magazines (none of them paying attention that they were all buck naked except for a swaddling of highly absorbent terry cloth. Next I was introduced to the 'quiet room' a women only space where women could wait before or after their appointment in a new age/ star trek-ish atmosphere of reclining leather chairs, chenille lap robes and chiffon dividing curtains between each chair. Then we came to the ladies lounge, where they have a cold steam/hot steam/ mud baths/ milk baths/ jacuzzis/full makeup area with makeup and hair styling materials etc. available to all who get a little rumpled by being scrubbed, massaged, moisturized and manipulated during their treatment. This place was LAID OUT! Finally, she took me to the locker area, where she asked my shoe size (i assumed for the little paper flip flops you get post pedicure, and then showed me my locker where I could put my bags and purse(I had been shopping) and to CHANGE INTO MY ROBE.

Now, I'm a shy person. I don't get naked for just anybody. And the fact that I was told to change out of my clothes and become a fluffy white terry robe person disturbed me because I WAS JUST GETTING MY TOES PAINTED. I tried to act cool, and waited for my hostess to leave. Suddenly flashbacks of gym class came hurtling back at me - of changing in the locker room while Ms. Juelhich, our female gym teacher gazed at us. I decided to buck up, be a 21st century woman and change into my robe. I felt very discombobulated in the robe, the belt was twisted, it was showing too much cleavage, and I felt like the Stay-puft Marshmellow Man in the movie Ghostbusters. Due to low levels of fashion confidence, I decided to sit in the quiet room - which was women only. I went in, trying not to disturb the greased up post-treatment spa women. A few eyed me with annoyance as I puttered about trying to figure out how to recline the space age leather recliner (there is a secret knob) and decide where to put the sensitive chenille blanket (because I was hot in my sweltering terry cloth tomb) and putz about with a copy of SELF magazine, squinting to read because it was too dark to see, and too hard to quietly flip pages without disturbing others.

After 5 minutes in the quiet zone and the spa patron's withering looks, I decided to buck up and join the living and be brave. I decided to go and sit with in the co-ed area in my terry cloth robe because I realized that I was being a wuss and would never see these people again anyway.

I looked in the mirror, adjusted my robe to be it's most flattering, and then walked with confidence out to the co-ed waiting room. I was going to work my terry cloth stay-puft action.

I walked out there - and everyone was gone.

After all that build up and mental preparation for naught, I hate to say it but I was disappointed.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I was in my own Glass Case Of Emotion today

The above expresses my inner turmoil experienced this morning when the ticket agent at the airport told me I was 2 minutes late in checking in for a flight to San Francisco - a flight where I had been upgraded to first class.

I was rebooked on a flight, sitting in the back of the cattle car...with all the other cows.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I want that time back

As I'm preparing today's post I'm watching the season finale of my favorite guilty pleasure "America's Next Top Model". There were magic moments tonight, and it's share of putrid ones. A quick rundown:

  • getting to see once again 'how to smile with your eyes' as illustrated by Tyra
  • hearing Mr. Jay continually saying at the final runway show "you have got to stomp it to the death" - which may become my new motto
  • seeing hot boys in Versace briefs and eyeliner walking the runway in the runway show
  • Listening to Paulina Porizkova hate on the fatter model Whitney
  • Tyra's weave
  • the "on a very special episode of 'The Facts of Life'" type discussion at the very end about how Whitney can now have high self esteem as a chubby chick because she won AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm guessing that the editor was on crack because the show, which normally would be a 2 hour extravaganza, was cut down to a wee little hour presentation. There were no sensitive, reflective moments of the two finalists sitting on a monument or scenic overlook in a fabulous foreign city contemplating their futures of stomping down runways and concentrating on extending their neck in photos. There was no final review of all of the photos taken and analyzed down to the expression of every eyelash.

I feel robbed of the experience, because all 9 other finales delivered, where this one did not.

Dear Tyra Banks.
Please return that 55 minutes of my life that was wasted on your show's season finale. Feel free to return it in 5 minute increments or in a bulk sum. The choice is yours on how you give it back. Just know that you ain't getting anymore of my time on your sad-ass finales.

Thank you,

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I heart my whole i-pod

Today my friend Brad came into work, excited about what he was listening to on the radio during his commute. Today's topic on the radio show was "what song are you embarrassed to like". Brad asked me the question, and I ran through my i-tunes library in my head - what do I have that embarrasses me? I threw out to Brad that it would probably be a Barry Manilow tune, but then said that nothing really embarrassed me. Over the course of the day, I've been compiling a mix of songs that were kind of embarrassing to me - kind of a secret shame playlist that I wouldn't want to be caught singing to at the top of my lungs (which is what I do generally when I'm driving by myself) in my car with the windows rolled down.

Here's my playlist:

Reminiscing - Little River Band

Weekend in New England - Barry Manilow

Pop Goes My Heart - Hugh Grant

You won't see me - Anne Murray

Midnight at the Oasis - Maria Muldaur

Forever in Blue Jeans - Neil Diamond

Xanadu - Olivia Newton John

Dance with Me - Orleans

Stars are Blind - Paris Hilton

The lady is a Vamp - Spice Girls

Flowers on the Wall - The Statler Brothers

I go Crazy - Paul Davis

All By Myself - Eric Carmen

Please Come To Boston - Dave Loggins

The Stroke - Billy Squier

Can't Stand Losing You - Andy Williams

Life is a Flower - Ace of Base

Scanning this list I have created, I seem to have a secret love of ballads from the 70's. Not sure why they are so ingrained in me - could be that I had a brother and sister that were teens in the 70's in my impressionable early childhood years. I love these songs, I have them in my i-tunes. I just don't want others to think they are favorites of mine. On second thought - I'm going to own it.

Hey world, check out my no longer secret shame playlist.

I just might put it on i-tunes as a custom i-mix.

Just call me DJ MissAY.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Surly Spice - just a year ago

It was a year ago that I was traipsing around the highlands of Wales with Gay Husband (aka GH) and my pal Jody. GH was working over there in the thrilling industry of credit card marketing, enabling the citizens of the UK to go further into debt. Jody and I went over there, because it's sad when one doesn't get to see their GH regularly, and because we long to march up and down inside the ruins of castles from the 1100's. Today's pic is of GH looking surly yet fabulous along a highland stream in Wales. So rugged, so fantastic, so perturbed that his photo is being taken. If GH was a Spice Girl, his spice name would be Surly Spice.

He's surly and delicious - he's surlicious.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

An apology to my mother

Mom, if I ever acted like this in any way during my formative teenage years, I would like to sincerely apologize..

You are the best mom on the planet Joyce Ann!

Love, your koogle bear

Saturday, May 10, 2008

I'm more of a 'one leg at a time' kind of girl

An inspiring way of amping up the art of an everyday task.

Friday, May 09, 2008

A new gremlin

Just found out today that one of my best pals ever, Amy, has a wee baby on the way. She likes to refer to it as a gremlin, which tickles me to no end. I'm very excited for her and her delicious hubby Limes (a nickname - he's English, therefore a Limey, real name is Kevin) as now they will have a little person wreaking havoc around the house.

I can't wait till the Gremlin starts talking, because if it is anything like it's mother, it will be saying some outrageous, hilarious things!

Congratulations to Amy and Limes!

Thursday, May 08, 2008

So dreamy....

So what cartoon character do you think is the dreamiest?

Are you a fan of Dr. Quest of Jonny Quest? How about Aqua Man? Maybe Fred from Scooby Doo? Think Homer Simpson is a dreamboat?

I like my cartoon characters manly and rugged. If I was a cartoon woman, my rugged cartoon dreamboat would be able to fight a bear, or catch a poacher. Who would be my perfect cartoon match? Mark Trail of course. There is no hunkier, manlier cartoon around. If Mark Trail was on E-Harmony.Com I'm sure we would come up as a perfect match.

My friend Elizabeth's grandfather is the artist that draws Mark Trail, so maybe she could arrange an introduction. I will have to see if she can pull some strings. Maybe her grandfather could draw a cartoon version of me, and put me in the cartoon as Mark's new squeeze.

See you in the funny papers!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I met an "B" actor from a movie today

This evening I was retrieving something from the trunk of my car when someone caught my eye. I looked to the left and saw a "b" actor standing to my left. Unfortunately it was an actor whose performance I was not a fan of. Ever seen the movie Arachnaphobia? It had to have been one of the main antagonists of the flick. It was an enormous black hairy spider about the size of Reese's Peanut Butter Big Cup. Doesn't sound very big? Let me assure you this thing was enormous, and looked like it wanted to take a big chomp out of me.

He was hairy, fuzzy, and watching me as I was assessing whether or not I was going to squish him. As I think it is bad karma to kill other things, and because I would need to have Army issue combat boots to take this bad boy out, I let him move on. Now I fear that he is going to be setting up a club house in my garage with all of his bad ass buddies to hang in. I would not be surprised if he belongs to some sort of Spider gang. I couldn't see what colors he was sporting, no tattoos or bandanas were visible from where I stood - however, that doesn't mean that he isn't a Crip, a Blood or a Vice Lord.

Today's picture is of a spider I found outside of my front door last year, but this is a good spider, that eats mosquitos and other annoying little buzzy things. This gentle giant, while scary looking, had my back. He probably has a little cranberry beret, like a Guardian Angel prowling the streets of a big metropolis, fighting bug crime. Hopefully he is lurking in my garden somewhere and I can recruit him to go in and do a sweep of my garage.

If I don't post tomorrow - assume the worst, that I am cocooned in spider silk, hanging from the rafters of my garage. Send help.

I think I need a hug.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

A greener way of communicating?

Mr. Fong is a leader on team go green! No post it notes for this guy....he leaves his messages on the ground for his people, no need to recycle his notes.

Today, Mr. Fong wanted to let everyone know that he had a lunch date.

Monday, May 05, 2008

A 4-wheeled Invisibility Cloak

Are you one of the people that thinks that once they sit down in their car and shut the door no one can see what they are doing in the car? Shrouded in a cloak of invisibility?

I am a big fan of people watching, so of course when I am stuck at a long Raleigh stop light, I like to take a moment to check my road neighbors out. Usually it's just someone singing along on the radio, or chatting on the phone. Every once an a while there is a nose picker digging for gold, or some chick putting her face on in her rear view mirror.

The other day was the most obvious case of car invisibility syndrome (CIS) I've seen. A woman, on her way to work, decided to take a moment to do some personal facial grooming - best left done in the privacy of one's home. I watched her rub her face a little bit, looking at her chin in the sunshine as it streamed through her windshield. I thought perhaps she was just an older woman, doing the cursory "this is what it would be like if I got a face lift" move, but no, she was assessing her facial hair situation. She reached over to her passenger seat, and pulled out a scissors, going to town trimming whatever it is she had abundance of. I watched with fascination as she trimmed, trimmed, trimmed.

Now, I understand everyone has things that have to be 'managed' in their personal grooming, but I wonder if the woman I watched would manage her situation differently, if she knew that I was putting the story of the sight that I saw out into cyber-space. I'm not trying to make fun of her, I'm just trying to warn my precious readers to not do anything in their car that they wouldn't do out in the middle of a busy city street.

This public service announcement on CIS brought to you by the Missay Foundation.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

The same, but different

Yesterday was the AIDS walk in Raleigh, NC. It was a good day, nice weather, we had a great team pulled together and raised $3,500. I've participated in AIDS walks before, most recently in San Francisco. While there are lots of similarities in the events, there are some differences.

In San Francisco, some of our fellow walkers looked like this:

In Raleigh, some of our fellow walkers looked like this:

The pressure is on for the next AIDS walk I participate in...I hope I can count on another colorful fellow walker - no matter what the species.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

How I am hoping my Saturday turns out

Just waiting for my gold dress to finish in the dryer.

Friday, May 02, 2008

A New Auteur on the Scene

Today's post features the newest release from Hughes Pictures. It's a study of feminine politics and how the media escalates conflict between women. Major universities are using it as a case study in their Women's Studies programs. It may be the most important commentary on women to date.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Inspired by a real life conversation

Smokey: So, you know someday we will be at war with the robots

Woody: heh heh, you think that's really going to happen?

S: Yep, The Matrix and The Terminator movies are prophecies.

W: So who are they going to attack first?

S: Anyone on MySpace, Facebook and Linkedin.

W: Come are not serious.

S: Dude...I'm just saying... get off the grid...

the above re-enactment was inspired by a conversation had at Ike's Restaurant, Minneapolis, on Sunday, April 27.

Special thanks to Smokey & Woody for their riveting performances.