Sunday, June 29, 2008

It wasn't a mother f*ckin walk off

It was Tuesday.

I was part of a group that was presenting a new change to my company's brand, which required me to change into special t-shirt that was part of the planned theatrics.

To get back to my desk, it requires me to walk down a main 'hallway' which is flanked by banks of low cubes (waist height) on either side. Everyone sitting at their desk can see who is going up and down the aisle.

As I began to walk to the other end of the aisle to get to my desk, the president of our company was at the opposite end of the aisle. He is a guy with a dry sense of humor and likes to make jokes. He smiled at me and seemed to be laughing as the two of us approached each other in the aisle-way.

Since Zoolander is one of my favorite movies, I assumed it was the president's too, and that he was challenging me to a mother f*ckin walk off (as portrayed in today's clip). I began my strut toward him, kind of walking like a weird pony - the way that Miss J teaches all the girls on America's Next Top Model.

As the president approached me he said "Missy, I thought perhaps you could give me one of those shirts" - referring to my new theatrical uniform. I responded to him "oh, I thought you wanted to have a walk off" which left him very puzzled. My face turned red, and a retreated with the chant "uncomfortable" running through my head.

I went and found him a shirt, but by then, he refused, most likely because my earlier behavior was freaking him out.

I raised my profile in one weird way that day.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Mamma Mia

This is the song that has been in my head for the last 4 days. It started after seeing the preview for the new movie "Mamma Mia" starring Meryl Streep - who appears to spend much of the movie in overalls, which should be interesting.

Am I irritated by this ABBA mental invasion? Not really, as I am an ABBA lover. How could one not love them? Good beat, fabulous outfits, and hairdos that most would say are hair-don't's (bless little Bjorn with his modified mullet). I've seen the musical "Mamma Mia", I've got all their greatest hits, and have even gone to see Bjorn Again - an ABBA tribute band.

I associate people with ABBA songs too, for example, every time I hear Dancing Queen I think of my friend Ada as it's her personal theme song, Waterloo for GH maybe because he can be as tyrannical as Napoleon, and Fernando for my mom - because I remember her trying to explain what the lyrics meant when I was 7 years old.

My company is expending a lot of energy to improve working conditions for the team - I think in lieu of a Yoga room which is in the plans - I'm going to suggest an ABBA room. Talk about giving a morale injection! It's foolproof I believe.

My mental ABBA song just changed from "Mamma Mia" to "I have a dream".

Make tomorrow an ABBA-RAMA in your life.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Do they have to call it pudding?

Every morning I see an advertisement for this stuff, and it makes me feel like I'm from outer space.

Seriously? Internal organ pudding? I will stick with J-E-L-L-O.

Now there is more for those who really dig it.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I blame my OCD on John-Boy

I have a personal quirk - a curiosity if you will.

I have a ritual when I iron something.

Once my ironed item is freshly pressed, I reach down and unplug the iron saying out in a clear voice (to no one) "I HAVE UNPLUGGED THE IRON". Why do I do this? Because a secret fear of mine is to leave the house with the iron plugged in, and then the house burns down due to the iron overheating.

"Why don't you get an iron with an automatic shut off Missy?" you ask? I do have an iron with an automatic shut off, but WHAT IF IT FAILS? Then the house still burns down. By saying it out loud to myself, I don't have to question myself on my way to work "did I turn off the iron? I turned off the iron right? I don't remember turning off the iron..." over and over. I would drive myself mad and would have to return home to make sure it's turned off.

Why this crazy fascination with the house burning down? Because when I was around 8 years old, I remember the episode of the The Walton's where the house burned down because either
1) Grandpa left the electric heater on by the tub
2) Pa forgot to manage the embers the pot belly stove in the kitchen or
3) John-Boy snuck one of Pa's cigars and didn't put it out properly.

Seeing the horrors of the fire on the poor Walton family shook me to my very soul. As a result of watching that show, I started my own personal watch over my family household, getting up in the middle of the night every night to do "the rounds" checking each room to make sure that there were no items in each room that were in potentially combustible situations.

My parents put up with this wacko behavior for a while, but finally my mom said - "Knock it off, or else I'm sending you to a psychiatrist". I stopped doing my psycho rounds and melded back into a fairly normal child. Every once in a while, my Walton's inspired fear of household fire will crop up - usually in the form of iron management.

I decided to roll with my quirk - it could be worse, I could be on crystal meth or something...

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A room with a view

This is the view from bed in the guest room at GH's house. His decorating style is impeccable, and a single girl like me can always appreciate a photo vignette featuring the delicious Viggo Mortensen and the dashing Anderson Cooper. Gay husband has such good taste, featuring hot guys and cool friends. It's innate I guess, he's always been a decorating superstar - even back years ago when we lived together.

Check out the ghost in the friend group picture to the right of Anderson Cooper. I'm the one that is glowing white like Casper the friendly ghost. I look like an albino in a bad Liza Minelli wig.

Life is a cabaret old is a cabaret...

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Another indication that I am turning into my mother

My mom is a fun chick. She has a great sense of humor, is opinionated and is a hoot to talk to.

One of my mom's personality quirks that I remember from my childhood is her extreme dislike of a Minneapolis newscaster by the name of Cindy Brucato. I remember many a night where the news may have been on in the background and Cindy was interviewing someone or reading the news. My mom often would say "oh she is such a puke" (which means "I'm not a fan of this person") or she would imitate the awkward interviewing style of Ms. Brucato.

While my mother didn't like to Cindy's style as a newscaster she always watched.

The other morning, as I was getting ready for work, I was listening to the Today Show for my dose of news and info-tainment. Imagine my surprise when I caught myself looking in the mirror and making fun of Meredith Viera (whom I can't stand) saying that she was reporting from Beirut, when actually she was in Beijing. I went on a rant (to myself) and caught myself doing exactly what my mom would do when she would rant about Cindy. I laughed to myself a little bit, and decided to embrace my future as a newscaster critic.

But seriously. Meredith Viera is sooooo irritating. She talks over people, asks stupid questions and doesn't listen to her interviewees...not that I have an opinion or anything.

Sunday, June 08, 2008


Hi, My name is Missy and I Twitter. That's the first step right? Except I don't think I have a problem...I Twitter once a day. That's not too much right? OMG maybe I should do it every other day? I'm going to go tweet about it right now.

Friday, June 06, 2008

It could be worse, I could be in Riyadh

It's official, I'm melting. At 9:11 PM it's still 99 degrees.

It is so frickin' hot in North Carolina, that my actual flesh has melted off my bones and is in a puddle on the floor. Although I am a liquid, I am still able to successfully navigate the internet, so I decided to take a little look at the other temps around the world to see how Raleigh compares: Today temps are as follows:

Alger, Algeria 73 degrees
Bujumbura, Burundi 84 degrees
Cairo, Egypt 99 degrees
Kumasi, Ghana 89 degrees
Antananarivo, Madagascar 78 degrees
El Aaiun, Western Sahara 79 degrees
Kabul, Afghanistan 94 degrees
Jamalpur, Bangladesh 89 degrees
Beijing, China 86
Guraguon, India 96
Tehran, Iran 91

I'm sure if I knew someone in Riyadh, Saudia Arabia they would say I was a whiner, because they hit 112 degrees today. But you know what - that's a dry heat, and down here in the NC it's about as moist as a Betty Crocker cake with pudding in the mix. Guess what, tomorrow has more in store - it's going to be 101 degrees.

Okay, now it's time to re-solidify myself. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

One way ticket to crazy town

Check out this dude wigging out in a Russian office. Their cubes are more "cube-ish" than the ones in my office. So far, no freak outs like this here in North Cackalack....

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

What's Your Personal Theme Song

Curses to George Lucas. His company theme song/set of sounds that are enhanced by this dramatic lemur's actions makes my skin crawl. If I'm in a movie theater and hear this, I have to stick my fingers in my ears.

My personal theme song is much more pleasant. It's "love is all around" a.k.a the Mary Tyler Moore theme song.

What's your personal theme song?

Sunday, June 01, 2008

A sad day for fashion....

Sad story today...the highly creative and glamorous Yves Saint Laurent died today. My fashionista friend Kristen is very sad. I remember the days when we were teenagers reading Vogue and W magazine in her bedroom talking about all of the fabulous fashion designers - Karl, Calvin, Ralph and Yves...