Sunday, October 21, 2007
I'd like to thank...
Dreams really do come true at the North Carolina State Fair. Case in point, look at Beauregard, the blue ribbon award winning sweet potato for 2007. Right after Beauregard achieved his dream of becoming the best sweet potato for the year, I had a chance to interview him.
Missy: So, Beauregard, how does it feel to reach the pinnacle of potato-ness?
Beauregard: Ma'am, I'm so proud to have achieved this level of success.
M: What's your secret? How did you become so fabulous?
B: Well, it was a multitude of things. I'd really like to thank Mr. Clarence Wilson, my farmer, because without him, I would not have made it. The secret really is a hearty dose of pig poo.
M: Pig poo?
B: Pig poo. I know it sounds gross, but really there is nothing finer. I bulked up right away once the poo treatments began. Once you get used to the smell, and think of it as a spa treatment, it's magnificent. I recommend it highly.
M: Hmmm, I think I'm going to have to stick with the more traditional treatments like Body Butter or Body Scrubs for my own personal enhancement.
B: I'm telling you, once you try it, you are going to love it!
M: Okay, I'll take it under advisement. Okay, now that you are the tops in North Carolina in the Sweet Potato community, what will you do now?
B: I haven't decided. I could go for the national title, but I think I may investigate some other opportunities now that Hollywood has come a-knockin'.
M: Hollywood? really? Can you share a little more?
B: Well, I had a message from the Ellen Degeneres show, an offer of a guest starring part on "Gossip Girl, a call from the casting agent for "The Surreal Life" and then Martha Stewart wants me to appear on her show.
M: Martha Stewart? My advice is to steer clear of that one.
B: But Miss Stewart is such a lovely woman, and I do love to hear about her cookin' tips.
M: Dude, all I am saying is stay clear of the kitchen when Martha is around. Girl's got knives and knows how to use them...that's all I'm going to say.